Cancer Won

(Belle sitting on top of Nick in the car. Last picture taken of the two of them together)

Most of you know by now that Nicki didn't make it. The cancer was at best stalled for a few weeks but when it decided to grow it did so fast and internally. She looked perfectly normal from the outside and for a while she acted normal too. It was as if she had no idea she was sick. 

Belle knew something was wrong. She kept smelling where Nick would pee or poop. I mean excessively smelling the area. I often had to drag her away from it to make her stop. I think Belle either has the ability to smell cancer or she simply knows the difference between some kind of illness and a healthy dog. She would sometimes sniff Nick herself too. Nick didn't care. 

(My sweet Nicki)

So after spending a little over $5000 for cancer 'treatments' for Nick, I lost her anyway. So many people have lived this little scenario it's chilling to think about it. Some of the drugs I was giving to Nick I was ordered to wear rubber gloves when I handled them. I was told the drugs cause cancer in people that don't have it. This makes no sense to me but I was terrified and had made the commitment to go forward so I gave them to her. The left over drugs are still sitting on my counter. I need to take them to the police station to drop them off...they take all leftover drugs and dispose of them. I am still unable to do it. And so they sit there still.

For a long time I waited for Belle to display cancer symptoms. These two have always done the same things. Nothing happened. She has some health issues of her own but she does not have cancer. She also became extremely depressed when Nick was gone. Walking her was an ordeal. She was used to be one of a pair and she kept looking for Nick. She was constantly looking behind us for her and racing thru the house when we got home...like Nick was going to be upstairs waiting for her or something. It was pathetic and heartbreaking to witness. 

(Nicki 'swimming' during a hike. She didn't like to really swim so this was her version of it)

(Belle while on a hike with me)

But as time has passed Belle has recovered from the loss of her sister. She has made other dog friends and seems to enjoy her stupid dog cousin Zack (my son's ridiculas cocker spaniel) when they are together. She either ignores him or on occasion she will do the butt up in the air front end down I want to play game with him and then they chase each other. 

I've taken Belle on vacation (Zack came too) twice to Cape Cod since losing Nick. I would not have been able to bring both dogs if I still had two of them so that's a plus I guess. Belle enjoys going on vacation because she gets new places to pee and sniff and of course she gets walks in new areas too. I will continue to take her on vacation as long as she's with me. Next year we're thinking of going to New Hampshire. I'm sure Belle will like how that smells too.....lots of woods there. 

I've always said I will always have a dog. But as I lose more and more of them over the years it does become harder to let go. I will always have a dog as long as I'm healthy enough to have one, but it's not as easy a statement to make anymore. The loss and the pain stick with me now. 

I'm currently toying with the idea of starting a search for another Irish Setter. My setters in the past have been healthier dogs (or at least no cancers) and they are hard to find these days, which is a good thing for the breed. The harder it is to find one the more likely it is that the breed has not been ruined by hack breeders that don't know what they are doing or are only doing it for the money. It will take a while so the search starts early. 

But I have to admit I am so drawn to hounds when I see them these days. They all remind me of my Nicki. 

Nick

I have been away from both my blogs for quite some time. Every once in awhile I'd feel a little guilty for not posting anything for so long....but then I'd promise myself I'd post again soon and almost immediately, like so many good intentions before it...I'd forget again.

Too many things have been changing my life lately....actually it started last year and has continued into this year. I will catch you up in stages but for right now I will tell you about Nicki because this is the blog I originally started for Nicki and Bell.

                                                       Nick

I have been silent for some time because I was unable to stop thinking of the cancer that had afflicted my favorite dog, Nicki. Then there was a time when I could have written but no longer felt a desire to write. Still I do not really feel a desire to write but I do feel a responsibility to put something up on the blog. And so now that some time has passed I will tell you what has happened.

December 29^th I took Nick to the Vet because I had noticed a swelling on the side of her neck. At first it seemed like just another fatty tumor; both dogs started growing them it seems almost the moment I had been laid off from Bank of America. I had grown somewhat used to them after having them checked by the Vet previously but now this one was different. This one was new and was continuing to grow. I got her in to see the Vet within a few days of calling and when I was putting on her gentle leader I was confused by the fact that it was tight on her. I thought for a moment that perhaps I had picked up the wrong one; maybe I had put on Belle’s leader by mistake. Belle’s always needed to be a bit more snug on her because she likes to get out of it when no one is looking. I grabbed the other gentle leader and tried it on Nick. It was even tighter. Still I did not make the connection fully and I shrugged off the implications and took her to her appointment.

The Vet had barely touched her when she made the announcement that Nick has lymphoma. Shocked at such a sudden statement I asked what it means….she said cancer; Nicki has cancer. I felt those words ricochet through me. 

To say I was in shock is an understatement. I could not think of anything; I felt like my mind had gone blank. The Vet continued talking and I heard all of it but none of it registered. Then I started to cry. I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t care what she thought of me or of my lack of control I simply cried. She stopped talking at that point and I apologized for my lack of control and continued crying all the same.  

Eventually some information got thru to me after I made her repeat herself twice. I had to make a decision of whether to treat her cancer or not and it had to be now. I did not have the luxury of time anymore. This cancer had to be addressed immediately because it grows so fast. I became flustered; I was simply not prepared for all this and I didn’t know what to do. I told her I wanted her treated. There was no way in hell I could make a decision to just put my Nicki down.

Here it was, the day after my 58^th birthday and I was told that my favorite dog has cancer. Happy f-ing birthday, eh?

Police Dogs?

 Nicki was watching when a cop pulled someone over.

She had to get Bell to come and watch with her too.  :)

Happy Birthday Nicki and Belle!!

The girls turned 7 yrs old on April 15th this year.  For their birthday (ok, a day or so later) I baked them some homemade dog biscuits....or dog cookies. 

I used pumpkin; cinnamon and some black strap molasses for flavor. They smell delicious both when baking and afterward. 

Almost look like human cookies don't they? 

Starting Fall Clean Up

This is what my two girls do while I'm busy stripping the garden. It progressed from playing to eating every nut; twig; pile of dirt or blade of grass they could get their paws on. 

Nicki sat down and howled when I told her to quit eating stuff!

Bell's Ear

This summer Bell decided she was bored so she started growing tumors on her ear. One large one on the under side and two smaller ones on the outside....all on the same ear. 

Of course I had to have them tested....terrified it was cancer. I started imagining what she'd look like with half her ear taken off. 

The tests came back negative for cancer! The tumors are called Histiocytoma and turns out they are very common in Labs. Bell and Nick are Lab crossed with some kind of unidentified Hound. As you can see in the last picture here, they are itchy and Bell has been digging at them quite a bit. I've spent a great deal of time cleaning them with hydrogen peroxide and removing dead tissue; then coating them in an antibiotic ointment and having her sit in her pen for a half hour. (Bell thinks she can't shake her head in her pen....don't know why but it works for me!)

And the result is that they are going away just as the Vet told me they would. She said they usually stick around for about 3 months and then start going away. In addition to having to prevent them from getting infected I also added Parsley to my dogs daily food. It's supposed to inhibit tumors in dogs....I figured it couldn't hurt. 

Extraordinary Talent

My dogs have developed an extraordinary talent for going pee and potty on a side hill of snow. I didn't think a picture of that would really be appreciated so I gave a car's impression of it. 

The dogs really don't have a choice about where they are going potty these days. We have so much snow, the options are just no longer there. I am doing so much shoveling to clear the sidewalk; walkways and driveway that I have no energy left to shovel out an area for the dogs to use as a potty. 

As it turns out they seem to really enjoy the challenge of peeing on mountains of snow. In fact when I take them for walks, Bell will climb over her head to pee on the top of the snow banks! Nicki will peen on the ground level like a normal dog but Bell is taking advantage of the packed snow to play her own version of King of the Hill.