Friday, November 6, 2009

Nicki on Training



My Mom has started taking us to training! I don't know why she wants to take me there. I already know everything I want to know and Bell will never know anything so it's just a waste of valuable play time. (And I didn't see any trains there either).


I already know how to sit; stand; lay down; sniff other dog butts; bark at people and dogs I don't know; choke myself with the collar; pull like hell on the leash; howl to make Mom laugh; wiggle my whole body when I did something bad and pee on the floor. What in the world could possibly be left to learn!! It's a waste of time, I'm telling you.

Bell keeps looking at me and won't do anything she's told to do. I just ignore her. I'm more interested in meeting the other dogs around me. Mom keeps yanking my neck. How boring! There isn't even any food.

Justin is working with Bell. He doesn't know all the stuff Mom knows so Bell has it easy. He gives her a command and she doesn't do it and he doesn't even yank her neck! Then Bell plays stupid (although I don't think she's too smart anyway) and lays down! Mom won't let me get away with that but Bell gets to do it unless Mom sees her. Mom sends the instructor lady over if she sees Bell being an idiot with Justin. Ha Ha Bell!

Mom says I know a lot of commands but I don't pay attention. We're not sure what Bell knows...she moves in slow motion all the time. I heard Mom tell someone that Bell is better on the leash than I am. That's because I like to see everything and Bell is trying to make me look bad. I don't need any help Bell...I can do it myself. I can sit better than Bell. She sits in slow motion and makes people laugh. Mom says she looks like she's got a hydraulic lift under her butt.

I really do know how to be a good girl on the leash but I don't want Mom to expect too much from me. If I keep doing everything right I'll NEVER get to eat weird stuff while we're walking. Sometimes Mom takes me and Bell for a walk at the same time. That's when we really have fun! Bell and I have it all worked out....when I pull on the leash that's when Bell gets to eat a rock...when Bell pulls on the leash, then it's my turn to eat something. It works out pretty good because Mom is only paying attention to the one that's pulling on the leash. But tonight Mom caught us at it and made us both stop and spit it out. Bell is such a sissy she spit hers out right away. Not me, I made Mom go in and get it!

When we got home Mom told us sit; stand and stay. Didn't we do enough of that on the walk? When she told me to lay down I flopped right over. She seemed to like that because she started laughing and said I took a nose dive. Bell did the same thing but she did hers in slow motion of course. Bell does everything in slow motion. She likes to be different.
We have to go to bed now. Mom has people over and she said we had enough time in the spot light for one night. I don't know what she means...I didn't see any lights.

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